Roger Herman

Roger Herman, a nine-year resident of Lathrop in Easthampton, passed away on July 18 with the same strength and grace he demonstrated as he faced many health problems throughout his life. Roger was the classic “comeback kid,” recovering from multiple life-threatening infections and conditions that would have broken a lesser spirit. He defined resilience, patience and the determination to live another day. Although eventually transplanted to Western Mass, Roger was forever a New Yorker. Born in Brooklyn to Helen and Richard Herman, he grew up playing stickball in the “gutter,” riding bikes to the local pool, playing basketball in the alley between two houses, and falling off makeshift swings suspended above the concrete garage floor. His coming of age found him riding the NYC transit to high school at Brooklyn Prep, then taking an even longer commute to attend Fordham University in the Bronx. When his sister Peggy joined him at Fordham they happily shared a car for the commute from Brooklyn to the Bronx, but then had to contend with New York traffic and alternate side of the street parking. That created a lifelong bond between the two siblings, including daily or twice-daily calls toward the end of Roger’s life. Roger’s “default” was to do whatever he could to make the world a better place. At age 17 he started tutoring children in Harlem, creating much angst for his mother. His first job was in the Teacher Corps, teaching math in inner city schools. After years of teaching, he transitioned to working as an addiction counselor and then returned to tutoring and teaching after retirement. Roger was always politically informed and active, joining protests against the Viet Nam War in the 70’s. A badge of honor was having been arrested with Dr. Spock during a protest. One reward of Roger’s activism was meeting Eleanor, the love of his life, at a meeting of the Peace and Freedom Party. Shortly after they met, Eleanor gave Roger a cat, but he fell in love with her anyway. Roger was a voracious reader and lifelong learner. When he, Eleanor and their son Peter moved from Brooklyn to Rye Brook, New York, he became very involved with the local library. He took a 450-page book about Thurgood Marshall with him to the hospice facility and (based on the location of the bookmark) made it to page 190. He loved and regularly completed the Sunday NYT crossword puzzle. Indeed, when all his other organs failed him, his brain remained strong as ever. Eleanor and Roger had a beloved son Peter, who was their pride and joy. Sadly, Peter passed away in 2008 from a genetic condition. As devastating as this was, Roger continued in his determination to contribute to a better world. Roger is survived by his wife Eleanor, his sisters Peggy and Betty, his daughter-in-law Denise and by many, many friends, in-laws, nieces and nephews and distant relatives who have been touched by his kindness and generosity of spirit. Beyond the love of his family, Roger enjoyed for more than a half-century the quirky, unusual friendship of a group called the Rat Pack. It began at Fordham University, where both Roger and Peggy studied. In the Sixties, a group of famous entertainers had dubbed themselves the Rat Pack. Roger’s friends weren’t celebrities, but they did love hanging out together. So they shamelessly borrowed the name of the more famous Rat Pack. Not long after the Rat Pack began, Roger helped to set the group’s tone of reliable looniness. With one other Rat Pack member, he picketed a 1965 Beatles concert at Shea Stadium, the home of the New York Mets. As fans of the always-losing early Mets, they felt that the Beatles’ visit would somehow damage the infield or the team—or both. Less dramatically, this group of young families got together often—for summer vacations, for Halloween, for Christmas, for a spring picnic. At Halloween, Roger always wore clever costumes, like the time he dressed as a liberal, complete with a faux bleeding heart. One year, the gap between Christmas and the spring picnic felt too long, so the Rat Pack invented another holiday, St. Ratrick’s Day. For that occasion, Eleanor created an imaginative centerpiece with rats decked out in shamrocks. It graced all Rat Pack gatherings from then on. The rats loved to sing, from Broadway musicals such as Camelot,The Sound of Music, and Man of La Mancha. Fittingly, as he lay dying in his hospice room, the last sounds that Roger heard included a beloved Rat Pack song from Man of La Mancha, “The Impossible Dream.” They also loved to read and to write. Roger was a prolific contributor to the Rat Pack oeuvre of poems and plays. For the 25th anniversary, in 1989, one poem described Roger like this: Then, of course, there’s Roger’s astounding proclivity To rush off on every hike and jump in every lake, in a fit of hyperactivity. For that quarter-century celebration, Roger wrote a clever play, including this line, summing up the group’s philosophy: “The Rat Pack exists to prevent the insidious spread of sanity in America.” During his years at Lathrop, Roger continued to be remarkably active. He was president of the residents’ committee, taught Sudoku, was a regular member of the book and the writing clubs and, as he became more frail, enjoyed sitting on the front porch, looking for every opportunity to engage his good friend Bill or other neighbors in thoughtful and lively conversation. He loved learning the story of every health aide who came to his house, and they in turn, felt a special connection to him Roger will be dearly missed by all he touched, but his memory is a blessing and an inspiration to us all.

To send flowers to the family or plant a tree in memory of Roger Herman, please visit our floral store.